UNSPEAKABLE

UNSPEAKABLE

I know wounds
I am currently
still wounded

I am unwounded
you call me
unspeakable

stick that label upon me
with a white hot iron

and now
    in the light
of what you have done
your catastrophic achievements

think you
should back off
        a little

last defence of your position
an appeal to hypocrisy
desire to shut
out any
    all contradiction

think you should have
a serious think
        and rethink

weigh it all up
               carefully,
                    as we
humans are
supposed to

check your direction
confirm your
                 moral compass
before
you step
any closer

for I am
as pointed
out earlier:
wounded indeed
bleed in both
body and
soul
     internally
      externally

feel I can
never heal
      in light of all the death
with which

you have
surrounded me

and yet
        nevertheless

testimony to
      my stupidity

I do refuse
to be silenced

be labelled
unspeakable
       dragged into that
narrative you wish
              have to wish
              we would believe

wounded I am
(may even
           qualify as
     
    distant
     collateral damage)

shock-splinters in my heart
to be true
      (feel them
                  I do)

yet
I know
      come crunch

come what offer cannot but
                                     be refused

how
to
wound badly, terminally

unspeakably

how to wound too