IMAGINABLE

IMAGINABLE

sometimes the wind changes
not for a day
but for centuries

find myself sky
suffused with grey cloud

have to drag
myself back from death
persuade myself
I am real
to achieve anything

more than
a postulate in latest
lunatic physics,
a trick of light and shadow,
whose meaning
has turned viral,
whose
truth has gone rogue

thought I had every possibility
of becoming a song
of awakening, whistling
a chorus of joy

but then those
small, fatal miscalculations,
that missed
decimal place that
ends everything

everything to nothing
in fractions of
a microsecond

as if
it is all, we are all,
just ingrained fictions
of a fleeting brain

terrors there
in the disturbing logic
in that flash-
in-the-pan philosophy

as I sit in the darkness
conversing with you
hunting
   for you with my
  searchlight

thinking
   here in our words
the foundation of
all enlightenment

something to
         dispel the hold
it has
  upon our souls
this
darkest thought imaginable