NEITHER HERE, NOR THERE

NEITHER HERE NOR  THERE

sadly I have
forgotten you already

though a little bird
keeps reminding me
how razor smart you
were
   and how beautiful

something I have to tell you
before this poem
goes off
   the boil

it’s Christmas day after the day
after the day after tomorrow
I would wish
          you every joy
but we cannot risk climbing
out of our trenches
onbewapendt
     exposing our shared
humanity
risking all
that vulnerability

I can whistle the tune of
every tracks on those
albums
you gave me for
Xmas
    God knows how many years ago

and soon but not
together obviously we are
going to
    wake up dead finding
ourselves one
hundred
   percent spiritual
able to laugh
   (not earthbound resounding
seismic belly laugh
more celestial titter)

at all
those
      misunderstood signs, wrong
words, mistakes,

as far as
     eye can see landscape
of obstacle and
barbed
     wire

here where time is meaningless
and
     spanner in the works and
as a
consequence jammed
clockwork

but I did send
a dove with a message

if it reaches you if you
read it
        deep as I have tried to be
it is all neither here nor there