academic, research, satire, fyggev

RESEARCH METHOD

if I see another research onion
eye-balling me
from the page

I think I might puke
possibly in many coloured layers

why not
a research orange?

or, better even, a
research banana

best of all
research pineapple
you eat
your way up through
the fruit until
you reach the spiny leaves

hard, tough,
that’s why you need
coding software

or a Likert Scale
choose one for good
two for bad and
three
(obviously) for
ugly

now we have finished
this poem
please be assured your
responses
will be

kept confidential
protect you from punchlines
to this and
other jokes

suddenly hitting you
with terrible laughter, mild
amusement

things outside
your paradigm
that mess with
your categories
and other bumps in the night

got
your onion

be
sure to hold it tight!