Gary Lineker – poems 2 die for

STICK

STICK

stick to football Gary
and

over and above that
stick to your job
(not down
the left
wing but
finisher in
the middle)

stop
sticking it to
all those true
Britons, guardians
of the long
ball game

who never won
a sweaty sock or
dinged
shin pad

no thought
of golden boots and
golden goals

won
against Beckenbauer’s
band, Maradona’s
mob
serious rivals, experts
in dishing out
national
humiliation

nor
are they ever
likely to, spending their
careers on the pitch
like demented ducks
lacking
all
sense of the game, worse
than headless
chickens

scoring goal after goal
after crazy own goal

from
every outrageous angle
and somehow
always what
is contrived to be

a totally illogical
offside position

Gary
is out
of step

time was
he used
to dance
around
defenders

but not these
defenders
gatekeepers
of the realm

nothing
gets past them

he shall not
pass or dribble
through them

the refs have given them
absolute right
to hack him down.

Gary has scored!
Gary has equalized against
this team from the thirties
he spun, hit his shot and
it went in on
the rebound after
taking a deflection

but now they say
he should stick to
punditry, stick
to scoffing crisps

and they want the goal
disallowed, they demand
a recount
insist there must
be a referendum
on the decision from VAR

so Gary’s goal will be disallowed
and what sinks must carry on sinking
there are wave machines
to sort this out
and full fan hatred
shouting singing.