POEM FOR 1983 ME
there you are
in that disintegrating photograph
so sure of yourself
Mr Wry Smile, so unsure of
yourself : deconstruct
this photo Professor Academic
Expert
so much space here
to delineate those inner doubts
and (to make no bones
about it) existential torments
scars of neglect
and what eyes have browsed this?
looked here, remembered,
eyes have looked into,
souls loved, have loved,
still love
could never
possibly forget
(know who you are, know
what history we have,
stuff
shared together)
and now having
pulled this out of the hat
my next trick
will be
one of disappearance
taking all this stuff of self
off the shelf
go Cheshire Cat on you all
(having at times
threatened to
go full
mad hatter
perhaps in truth, far more Alice
caught right there
before the door into Wonderland
crazy. divine, nonsensical
quantum who
knows what
Wonderland
battling to balance
medicine that makes me
too big medicine
renders me too small
she
of the sign of the Libra born
most loved of the beloved
quietly shaking
her head at this point
and you
who only yesterday
told me
to come visit
hit me
with all that goddess mythology
made everything
look so
effortless
what fatal nonsense
was it our paths crossing
what fatal
nonsense was it
nothing and not
everything, all?