Libra

POLARIZED

got both my eyes independently polarized
can now
scan for ultra violet
track via
infra red

still
am bad with obstacles these
upgrades notwithstanding,
find things hard
sometimes to negotiate

take Libra, sign of order
despite itself sometimes,
its poets, philosophers
lovers
leaving me wholly unbalanced
seriously wandering
off the beaten track

making me
strong, yet
also killing me

let me measure
two of your natives
point for point
in your
immaculate pans

my eyes, my heart
and mind especially
in your presence never
failing to
deceive me

that sheer stuff you were
wearing both
at that moment

failing in the art of subtly
suggested seduction (sadly
not
having read the right page
in that ancient manual)

whilst
your counterpart, short and sweet when
it came
to required etiquette

claiming
her conquest, cave-woman style,
no kicking, no screaming,
dragging me off
to her gilded cage

POEM FOR 1983 ME (revised version)

POEM FOR 1983 ME

there you are
in that disintegrating photograph
so sure of yourself
Mr Wry Smile, so unsure of
yourself : deconstruct
this photo Professor Academic
Expert
so much space here
to delineate those inner doubts
and (to make no bones
about it) existential torments
scars of neglect

and what eyes have browsed this?
looked here, remembered,
eyes have looked into,
souls loved, have loved,
still love
could never
possibly forget
(know who you are, know
what history we have,
stuff
shared together)

and now having
pulled this out of the hat
my next trick
will be
one of disappearance
taking all this stuff of self
off the shelf
go Cheshire Cat on you all
(having at times
threatened to
go full
mad hatter

perhaps in truth, far more Alice
caught right there
before the door into Wonderland
crazy. divine, nonsensical
quantum who
knows what
Wonderland

battling to balance
medicine that makes me
too big medicine
renders me too small

she
of the sign of the Libra born
most loved of the beloved
quietly shaking
her head at this point

and you
who only yesterday
told me
to come visit

hit me
with all that goddess mythology
made everything
look so
effortless

what fatal nonsense
was it our paths crossing

what fatal
nonsense was it
nothing and not
everything, all?

UNDER LIBRA

balance
temperance
transcendence

I check my calendar
assiduously
wondering when they
might
reappear

(if
they ever
did appear)

so much bad substance
dark matter festering
this many a day

coming to the surface
bursting every
tectonic
plate

hot slick sludge volcano
whose pyroclastic flow
covering in
magma
whole wealth of detail

that it
is turning out to be
this change
of epoch morning

whilst I spin my roladex top database
like an insane creature trapped
in the winking
headlights of extinction

searching for a theoretician
(any still standing
though
tossed
aside)

can explain
this shit to me

balance transcendence temperance

I hold off
on judgement

(sum
of all my fears)