LONELY PARK

LONELY PARK

am here
I am not here

my five cats
assuming I am here

which is
existentially reassuring

sunset on its way
three of the five felines —
Twinkle, Sasha, Panda Buddy —
scouting around me

powerful it is
this shared animal connection
assumption of presence

drums threading their way
through the village
seem to need
to find me

thumping bass
possibly from
the same location, same direction

hard to
get a
fix, judge
the distance

there is
always distance

am here
am not here

fit in
I do not fit in

am loved
I am unloved
am sort of loved perhaps
almost entirely

just sitting here, settled
my little room
getting cleaned
behind me

minding my own business
that business being
scribbling ideas
for the final scene
in “Demolition”
the novel I am writing

the world
turning

observing me minding away
curious about
      the nature of
this final scene I do
believe
will clinch everything

scene in which I sit
pretty much as I am doing
right now

watching the world — if
not my world —
fall to pieces