AH, YES, GARETH
Ah yes Gareth
is, this, not a case
of who will
guard guardians (custodes
custodet ipse)
or that old
joke against the Reich
involving bicycle riders
and Jews
we see
how neatly education,
class and
wealth translate
into realms political as
more insidious
species of liar
as the world clamours
for democracy in the face
of every species of
fascism
I confess to be less
than entertained as your
stale brethren
by the puttering
posturings
of your pithy little pen.
JIMA TRUMP
Iwo Jima Trump
planting the stars
and stripes
on closest thing
on Greenland
vaguely
resembling Mt Suribachi
garnering Peace Prize, Medal
of Valour, and
Purple Heart
in one
fell swoop
Vance and Rubio
there
to reload him
feed
him ammunition
Donald J D-
day overlord
of glory
MAGA disciples’ delight so
ecstatically high
all of them
self-
pleasuring themselves
everywhere,
the sexy swine
hot jizz melting
the ice sheath, turning
this arctic island
basically
as sweaty tropical a paradise
as Mar-a- Lago
O AMANDA
Oh Amanda,
I have you
in twenty
twenty hindsight
gone
totally
retrospective
just to
see
just how
badly you
recited us
how much not
just off key
off track
but mistaking
the climate
leading us off
in the wrong
direction
not climbing
the hill but
on death
descent down
the mountain
you there inspiring us
with hope, false hope
stuff
of bad ideology
in your sun yellow dress
beautifully assured
and
battling down
those slopes it was
all ice,
all winter, death
by exclusion, excision,
by bullets
through
the side
window at
point blank range
and the house
on the hilk with
its shining city
hoisting
an old hated, feared flag,
as bulldozers knock
down
and everything gets
restructured
need space for
the ritz whilst
homeless
go hungry
ghouls at the ball, macabre
how much space
they need
to dance and
twirl
and plot human structure
should have been
severe on yourself before
flaunting your
skills
before us
Miss Gorman,
should have checked
your subtext for
masquerade
and so
why should we climb
that hill
since we can buy one
elsewhere
greener, cheaper
take one out there
for ourselves
we write good poetry,
exceptional lines really
that
nothing
can compare with
the sun setting on that hill,
your hill
suddenly
I smell abyss
and feel the slippery slide
LIONHEART
Sir Richard
wants British children
to pick up
their toy rifles
head East
to attack Russia
wearing his truth-telling,
have-to-take-me-seriously
air ace
blue uniform
could not have
been more lunatic
could not have
been more clear
that military logic
crystal
as absurd a joke
as you ever heard
last thing
you may ever hear.
DANTE
and there
at the very centre
of Hell
we find
Dante
tortured for eternity
for libelling those
above his
station
the justice perfect
the irony beautiful
everything in accord
for one whose wicked faith
could not
comprehend
that the Universe
has its golden favourites
who
should always
be worshipped, venerated
by those for whom
they are
their betters
the writers
of the law
always
above and beyond the law
on this angel and devil
could
not be more
united
it is
their common understanding,
their jealously
shared faith
TAI CHI
I saw you in those
Facebook AI generated
Tai Chi adverts
desperate
to shed that belly
and the sixty pounds extra
some Tai Chi exercises
promising
if not the elixir of youth
at least some
potent Eastern
magic spell
to drive that faltering
wife back into
your arms
all-a-greedy, and
from other women, at last,
many a covert smile
but body aside
it’s the brain, your brain,
turned futile, gone
AWOL, that
we most
need to fix, with
poetry
I do think, poetry
best for this
sonnet before bedtime
and when
it comes to world
of smarts, a miracle soon
in sight
reversing the
ratio, restoring
the balance
between
supply and demand
(zero
supply, infinite demand)
AT THE UNIVERSAL EMPORIUM (OF UNIVERSAL EMPORIUMS)
too many stick-legged statues
things on plinths
it is not
as I remember it
nothing like my old haunt
unless the harbingers
of universal emporiums
within universal emporiums
are not
statues at all
far
from it
here I am wandering
between the chapels and stalls
following my nose
hunting down
hints of
imperium
calculating
how much cement
and marble
it will need
they will need
how many rolls
of fabric too
to craft
a tapestry
tapestry wide
long enough
to record everything
cement-coloured people
springing up
out of nowhere
animal,
vegetable, mineral
once they had
hoped to, promised to
evolve,
become transformational
the dream of thinking
the dream of making
hard to believe
it was once centered here
epicentre of focus
sweetest cosmic algorithim
all disappeared
WE
what we hear from you
We are
all human beings
one species
you are human beings
like me
what we want to hear from you
We are
all human beings
one species
I am
a human being
like you
please tell us
you can tell the difference
otherwise
this word “we”
makes no sense at all
WHAT I TOLD THE
SUPERVISOR WHO
ADVISED ME MY
EDITING WAS
SUBSTANDARD
yes, ruefully,
grudgingly
I do admit it
this time
I messed up
maybe i’m
not cut out for it
perhaps
I should
stick to
what I am
good at, or
then again
try something
different
take poetry.
there we have something.
comes naturally
to me
possibly one
of the best
in the country
sort of
like my
first language
for I seem
to suck
at editing, though
maybe not as
shit at it
as you are
thinking
not as
shit as it
as you are
at
teaching
being a bitch
and a teacher
seems
a bit of a
mismatch
don’t
seem a
good
fit
kind of, if you
can forgive
me for saying so,
need
some humanity
to get
through to
people
no, run
with what you
are good at
interior decorating,
playing power games,
arrogance,
cooking
(though there the
worry being
you may well poison
bodies
as much as you
poison minds)
RESEARCH METHOD
if I see another research onion
eye-balling me
from the page
I think I might puke
possibly in many coloured layers
why not
a research orange?
or, better even, a
research banana
best of all
research pineapple
you eat
your way up through
the fruit until
you reach the spiny leaves
hard, tough,
that’s why you need
coding software
or a Likert Scale
choose one for good
two for bad and
three
(obviously) for
ugly
now we have finished
this poem
please be assured your
responses
will be
kept confidential
protect you from punchlines
to this and
other jokes
suddenly hitting you
with terrible laughter, mild
amusement
things outside
your paradigm
that mess with
your categories
and other bumps in the night
got
your onion
be
sure to hold it tight!
poems 2 die for