BOGIES

BOGIES

we called our push
carts bogies

tue richer kids, from
up the street
ordered theirs, in
screw-together
streamlined
   formula one kits

mine
   my grandfather, my Mother’s
father had to make, mine
pram wheels and axels
and an old
pantry shelf he
painted purple
“the mauve monster” as
it was dubbed
     my the flash kids, the
speed aces,
the titans
   from the top of our road
as they sped past me
effortlessly

but they did not get to see
this man of few words
and (to me)
much mystery
at work, an engineering
marvel of
perfect proceas
or check the Great War
kit pinned up
high on
his cellar
workshop wall

same cellar where in 1940
as my Mother told me
her elder sisters
    returning late
had tried to sneak in
delivered,
   by a tank and
this man, their father ever
vigilant
   had caught them before
they were able to sneak
unspotted up to bed

sure they were
Hitler’s finest, having
ditched their parachutes
sneaking in
through the cellar to
take their revenge

for what he did
in his twenties to their
uncles and fathers over
his two years
on the Western Front with
the instrument of
mass death that
saved him
    back then
a genuine water-cooled point
303 Vickers medium
machine gun

without which no him no
daughters no mother
ultimately
      no me

I wonder when it was
my Mother, still a child
must have
fitst noticed it
what questions she asked
what she thought
what she knew, imagined
of that war

back to the bogies, my
purple bogie
      last memory of my life
in the North
of England back then

bogies
    such a strange war-haunted
Battle of Britain word

the skies back then full
of 109s and Heinkels and
Dorniers
      fight for survival, standing
alone against Nazism (and
new old
enemy Germany)
all for
democracy (not Empire) and
all that is good in
mankind and
noble
in the world

my Mother
became strange as she aged,
my father too in that still
clinging to
colonialism pre-
liberation South Africa

others came
      we left

my Mother so aghast
years later
    to hear who it waa exactly now
living in that house

place of her menories
(and who
     know what subtle, pervasive,
inevitable
family warfare)

source of my
purple, magnificent bogie
its maker
and his
machine gun

long time passed, younger
in years when he did than
my age now

TYGERBERG

TYGERBERG

vacuum cleaner
sucking up dirt and fluff
absurdly early, not even
sure than it could
be called morning

from the kitchen
war
seems about to me
declared, easy to
deduce from
the manifest hostilty
openly expressed
in the friction and
firefights between
the pots and
the plans

a clash for the ages
all that was, peace and
domesticity
come clattering down

and so
thus chastized for
my laziness and hurled
into action
I boot up
this then state
of the art dos computer
read the green
dissertation text which
sadly, does not
show any inclination
to save my academic bacon
by writibg itself

big mistake this
returning home
for my sabbatical
to save a few pence

drive my way into Rondebosch
from out in the
lower white middle class
Afrikaans speaking
industrial suburbs

hoping
this will not
become an error
of truly epic, horrendous
proportions

first in
a long long line
of bad, wrong choices
I never
did resolve

AT THE SHEBEEN

AT THE SHEBEEN

I took Wallace Stevens
down to the Shebeen

we dined
on braised cow’s head
and a selection
of South African beers

all of this chased down
with tub-fulls of
salted caramel ice cream

throughout this novel experience
I felt I could detect things whirring
in that machine-like faultlessly
poetic brain

something afoot behind
those placid eyes
finely meshed, sublimely
purposeful

some I dream, gut-feeling,
but also there
in heart
of hearts

he will real all this off
by way of a special poem
cleverly infected
                    in language
flirting with becoming
totally impenetrable to me.

THEREIN

THEREIN

ah, such golden
reflections on the ills
of democracy Mr Cliff

I wonder what heightened
state of political consciouness
making
   you kin
to Plato, produced
such
   desire for curation, left
us with
so much to mull over
State of beauty in
all its golden
reflection

ruled and voted for
by the very best, like
your good self

hearts of solid, pure
high caste iron

brain
    of shiny tin

(all such philosophical
mumblings, rumblings,
              perfect expression
of the truth
therein)

TODAY

TODAY

today, no cheap
linguistic tricks
I promise

such as
comic wordplay involving
crude pun, your
basic
   obvious homonym

such as
   poor Gareth, so
on the
wrong side
of history,

                  losing
intellectual footing
tumbling
    off a cliff

in his desperate intervention
to save the State
by savaging democracy

anything to distract
from the patently
racial
   sleight of hand

AH, YES, GARETH

AH, YES, GARETH

Ah yes Gareth
is, this, not a case
of who will
guard guardians (custodes
custodet ipse)

or that old
joke against the Reich
involving bicycle riders
and Jews

we see
how neatly education,
class and
       wealth translate
into realms political as
more insidious
species of liar

as the world clamours
for democracy in the face
of every species of
fascism

I confess to be less
than entertained as your
stale brethren
by the puttering
posturings
of your pithy little pen.

MOSSLEY SURREAL (LONG STORY REVISED)

MOSSLEY SURREAL
(LONG STORY)

I was there the day
Mossley, town
of my birth,
went
  as surreal as it could

the day this, little Pennine town
hosted a visit by
the completely surreal

and me
in my parents’ nice
little 40s brick
semi-detached house
up to their crazy nonsense
I was to yet figure out

down from Manchester
(where I would go
to university) on
a camel, in a caravan,
the surreal
   on its way

to mess
with our field gray
Northern Englishness
us afterthoughts of Empire
who maybe
had not seen better days

too early to
pose the existential threat
of psychedelia
doom us
     to a world of
Sergeant Pepper colours
snarling Jagger Stones
up
   in your face
                 though our
little Tame river flowing
to become
the Mersey
        certain to
back wash everybody one day
in the full
        Lennon-McCartney
helter-skelter
      Walrus, Strawberry Fields
awakening experience of
full-flood
hallicinatory Liverpool
sound

fish and chips, that staple fare,
squid, octopussified
by the brush
       of the immortal Dali
decades before
colonization
     by McDonald’s

and then the vagrants, puppets,
teddy boys and
ne’re do wells
      up on the moors turned
raging rebel

nor did the Anglican Church
up in Micklehurst
for all
    its solid stone and
hegemonic presence
survive this
assault
       unscathed, do any better

and me
    just ten and

confused as shit, but sticking
my neck out to
           understand what
going on

laughing my head off
             as this
my little
    former world went wrong

that head
   rolling rolling rolling

the length of England down
to Southampton

for crisis crisis
    my father fired and
can get
no job

trying his luck
       in an apartheid white
Christian national
land

and me
       long story

living that
bad surreal through
                              to its

happy surreal end

in my twilight as
        overly surreal sort

of South African

living at
    a distance
         British revolutions
in sound

REWINDING INGRID


REWINDING INGRID

saw you
undrowning,
undrowned finally

the people at Gordon’s Bay
doing their beach thing
no idea
they are.
moving backwards

everything now
by cosmic decree
in reverse
.
and, then I saw you
leave the water getting younger
unwriting every
poem
   reliving ever relatiobship
every sexual
moment
   from its end
to the beginning

and there your monument
of course, that was doomed,
to die as it
         became newer, more
pristine
   less weather-scarred, beaten
and thing of deriliction
whose plaque
no one
   ever reads or heeds
.
now suddenly
      before it all gets dissolved
deconstructed by
the return
to its creation

this text so lucid, so
bright and
clear

like her poetry
when we all used to read it

Sun now
rising in the West you
might say.

setting before it rises.
logically, I suppose,
we all
   headed for the womb
and that
thing which
is death, and yet
has
   to be death’s opposite
polar different

and when
all rewound, not
  a star
    born yet

let’s
start again; press play
be better this time

CEMETERY ROAD

CEMETERY ROAD
“may not mean to/
but they do”

I’ve read that
this be the Larkin poem

by any metric
it’s a real shocker

give it its due
painfully spot on
must have
begun somewhere

with Adam and Eve
tragic trace elements
springing out
of the big
bang
catastrophic for
the happiness of our species
wherever they
happen to
eke
out their existence
East, West
North, South
of the Continental shelf

and so me
not yet teenage

about to be whisked, nay,
catapulted to Africa
and apartheid
South Africa
at that

far from this little British
cul-de-sac
joy there in the sweet
English place of
pastoral they
call
a pastoral

where my father dutifully
taught me how
to ride
a bicycle
along the tiny tarmac roads
that slither like
snake trails
(not
weave their way)
between the graves

not much interest in my
life this broken life

scheduled to crack somewherw
along the line
pre-
programned like watch with
Mother, heartache,
failure
sex sharp and sweet/bittersweet
vanilla, spiced, chocolate,
salted caranel
melting pot and
set
to repeat but
not quite
liks clockwork

before which
(and before
post cigarette or
thin after mints)

my father’s little dream
of upping
roots, defining
his Empire somehow not

translating

finding purchase, believers,
means of manufacture

will not
let this poem end as
dead at
point blank range
as (fuck him!)
Larkin’s does

hard to
top him for
negative inspiration

DEMOLITION JOB REVISITED

DEMOLITION JOB REVISITED

breaking rocks off-shore
out on a flat precipice
in the Atlantic

have
   written that poem
wrote it
years sgo

am coming to grips
with what it is like
to feel
alnost broken

but now
roll the film back
yet further

recorded history
years of
home video

the Sun this day
brilliant beyond brilliant
as horrible
   an irony
   as it is to say

my Mother’s voice
am overhearing

telling someone eager
to listen
    they knew what
this place was like
they knew what they
were coming to
            did they not know
what to expect

front page
      back page

centrefold spread

Greek chorus
            gossip horror
the shock
the shame
              character assassination

and they
       or rather he the husband
having Army training
explosives, sabotage
blowing up
                things behind Nazi lines

now
out there consorting
with the men of shadow, figures
in the night
feared
    shape – shifters

blowing up pylons
disrupted the sacred electricity supply

and me
    that night all night
hearing the Indian Ocean waves roaring in to
crash on the shores of False Bay

so much Sun here, Sun
Sun

Sun for everybody

this man and his
accomplices
    attempting to take
this Sun
away

this
   brilliant Sun
of white and golden beach sand
horrible to say

****

sixty years
and we have crossed them
in a heartbeat

so much of that time
faintly remembered
not even
taught in schools
(sad that
somehow we
have so relegated history)

but now
a different narrative,
               a whole different narrative
a whole different way

of thinking of ourselves, this place

and how
we came here
      stifled, imprisoned,
imposed our colonial mindsets

stuck our future in tiny cells
on an island in Table Bay

for long
bitter decades fearing
no hope of solution, no path
to a liberation
that migh
   
allow redemption

a moment of memory
viewed
            with
a self-
forgiveness 

graced by the acceptance
of the perspective of great change

****

and here we are
my dear, absurdly conversing
in the light of all those years

democracy waiting
     in the wings, or rather
on an inhospitable island

time
   become its true essence
as pure
duration

imprisoned consciouness

until
   it was not

you born
in the year of its ending
of the release
salvation

far
  from its memory, vague
on its history

of the swirling eddies and currents that
despite every counter-
possibility produced

a dawn, a new
day

and now
        history has done
a demolition, removed
those back-then voices
that spoke with such
blind conviction,
presumed authority

as
   it slowly, inexorably
whittled me away

ground me
pulverized me
all
   that could not be ship-shaped
grist to that mill

cut
down to size

****

But hey, not so fast!, hold
those horses
hang on
     if not a New York minute
then a
Cape Town moment

but across
       land and ocean

the old monster
has
    found lease of life, more
hideous incarnation

the drive to inflict the worst
of which we are possible
on fellows
of our species

as they, we
did back then

    would have done to you

(and now this voice
those voices

        who do
they belong to, what
                  are they saying?)

someday
truth and beauty, long
liberated

           going to here abide