UNDER

UNDER

I almost drowned
way back,
decades ago

survived (obviously)
but suffered
much water damage

took on
so much water
always drifting, never
an even keel

now
fear immersion, the very
thought of absorption

and here I am now
26 degrees East, 26 South,
before climate change,
incessant rain
it used
    to be semi-desert

trying to write a science fiction
tale
    about a human atomic
powered submarine
navigating a vast
unknown ocean, ocean
on an incredibly distant
alien planet
        not going anywhere but
got a title at least, that
being “Under”

writing it as a riff
on Verne’s 20,000 League
tale of
the Nautilus, whilst
exploring the mythology of
my Western and
Eastern
   astrological signs

almost drowned on
board a ship (whilst
the irony seems
exquisite, technically it
was the Atlantic
that came
for me
    and, after possible
divine intervention, simply
changed its mind

this
    on our way to a new land,
new home
my Father thought
best for us

beautiful country with
a dark, iniquitous history
about
   to get darker

and all
   through my life, Atlantic,
Indian, Benguela, Mozambique-
Agulhas

those waters
out to get me
        constantly out
to infiltrate, swim
through

my brain 
        having me respond in
ways to rational human
being can
comfortably respond

daring me
        to speak the truth
of coldness, darkness,
of the abyss

having me say things I
would not
let myself say

the text
of “Under” still not
finding its page.