COMPENDIUM

COMPENDIUM

sorry to
bother you

drag you away
from what
you are doing

to tell you
to keep writing
writing writing
don’t let
them get to you

give me, a, compendium
show, me your heartfelt
give me
your best work

let them read
what you have written

watch their sky
turn turtle
power
of your
words

got them playing hopscotch
through textual minefields

so much horsepower
surging through this compendium

write what you want. every style and font
words long
as a
brontosaurus
tiny
as a flea

write
   beautifully
write insanely
show
contempt
show respect and
true endearment 

and, if they try to stop
you flex muscle
get your head down
flex all that muscle

write twice as hard
thrice as crazy
five
times as determined
expend energy
blow a gasket or
two

So
let them get
the message
my message to you
being
     the thing we
got to keep shouting

KEEP WRITING
KEEP WRITING

write
to the death
my darlings
don’t let them
suppose, impose, repose,
ever presume to
presuppose
throw
    the whole book to
get at you

yes, I think you’ve got it,
can hear it
bouncing  around in your
head: keep writing writing writing

no compronises
the more they try
to stop you
the more you need
to bunker down
with paper
and pen
power through, say
what
you have to say

do
what you have to do








HEAVENLY

HEAVENLY

torture is Heavenly
after the rapture
you will have all
of blessed eternity
to devise the most
thrillingly painful
horrendous
punishments
to dole out
meatily
to the enemies of God
and the Nation we
are sworn to offend

how beautiful
it is, and feels, to
be one
thousand thousand
percent correct, utterly
holy and forever righteous,
given complete
carte blanche
to crush underfoot
bend to
our will

for
what matter
if a man
destroy the world
but lose his soul

the destruction of the world
always part of the plan

FIRESIDE CHAT

FIRESIDE CHAT

you thought it would be
a great idea, a jaunty
self – promotion
to give
us a fireside chat

be we all
got incinerated

before which
you told us a great joke
which you were sure
we would love,
respond with ratings-
boosting love
whose punchline just
so happened to
be that
we were all now at war,
update, quick correcton:
that we were
all dead in the war

nevertheless, we loved it,
your aporoval rating
simply shot through
the roof,
the recently-remodelled
trillion dollar roof and ceiling

whereupon
it went ballistic, fully hypersonic,
caught us terminally ill-
prepared as it
did shoot us
in the foot, and
running to you for
not in our price range, not
in any price range medical cover

you droned on at liberty
focusing on the extremity of doubt
written across the touch-screen
of all our citizen faces

swearing it was all AI,
we had been duped by
the extremely accurate powers
of falsification
generated in some
secret hostile media bunker
by pretty terrible
election-
stealing, fake
narrative AI

being dead, however,
we were by no means able
to respond to
or comment on the veracity of that

burnt to death
by your fireside chat

SAME

SAME

it’s, my birthday (again)
73rd in unbroken sequence
the one
I never thought i
would make

and talk of oneness
have a little here
shoved up
my sleeve
I just have to share
though, no doubt, you
have heard it
lived it
before

lived it in hearts
and diamonds
and now
spades

I sat in that library once
where we talked
joked
    years later
watched burn

you the stellar figure
of those days
light
   years ahead of me

and now some guy
publishing a short video
on social media
reminding us
all of us
you, me,
the rest of humanity
of those now
speedily forgotten
ancient truths
           coming back to haunt
via truth revealed
in particle
   accelerators

and though so far
so distant
   so difficult, so much
a problem
so doubly entangled in
all my entanglements

there were
are

these moments
of ocean in the droplet, of
everlasting
   connection

put quite simply
I have felt to my core

it’s my birthday again, next,
inshallah, will
be my
     seventy fourth

a number
which before, so long
ago
creapt up upon me

as well
I believe you know

CAKE CUTTING

CAKE CUTTING

I am waiting for you
to get here

hoping for you to
help me cut
the cake

no sign of any of you
your places empty
conspicuous
by your
absence

Michael
Murphy
Anand
Terry
Faith
Muriel
Gideon
Carlos
Roy
John
Raymond
Saskia

seventy three candles
twelve for each of
you

one for myself
wanted my  birthday to
be a fantastic
time for
all of us

forever
worth remembering

DECEASED

DECEASED

was reading the collected
poetry and
philosophical writings
of Pete Hegseth

got through it
quickly, at jet
bomber
velocity
cover to cover
in 0.3

what a great addition
he will surely make
to Heaven
after
Armaggedon

meanwhile, as twilight zone
approaches and
from crown of head
down to gnarly
tips of toes
stress
fractures do appear to appear

I notice how dawn
(both no name brand regular
and the vaunted
by early light)
appears to have tarnished,
lost something
    unless I am much
mistaken, was hallucinating,
opening the curtains
facing East
    left me staggering with joy
at the sudden onrushing
flood of light

which, for whatever reason, to
put it bluntly,
feels
hanging on for dear life
if not (time paradox)
already deceased

BOGIES

BOGIES

we called our push
carts bogies

tue richer kids, from
up the street
ordered theirs, in
screw-together
streamlined
   formula one kits

mine
   my grandfather, my Mother’s
father had to make, mine
pram wheels and axels
and an old
pantry shelf he
painted purple
“the mauve monster” as
it was dubbed
     my the flash kids, the
speed aces,
the titans
   from the top of our road
as they sped past me
effortlessly

but they did not get to see
this man of few words
and (to me)
much mystery
at work, an engineering
marvel of
perfect proceas
or check the Great War
kit pinned up
high on
his cellar
workshop wall

same cellar where in 1940
as my Mother told me
her elder sisters
    returning late
had tried to sneak in
delivered,
   by a tank and
this man, their father ever
vigilant
   had caught them before
they were able to sneak
unspotted up to bed

sure they were
Hitler’s finest, having
ditched their parachutes
sneaking in
through the cellar to
take their revenge

for what he did
in his twenties to their
uncles and fathers over
his two years
on the Western Front with
the instrument of
mass death that
saved him
    back then
a genuine water-cooled point
303 Vickers medium
machine gun

without which no him no
daughters no mother
ultimately
      no me

I wonder when it was
my Mother, still a child
must have
fitst noticed it
what questions she asked
what she thought
what she knew, imagined
of that war

back to the bogies, my
purple bogie
      last memory of my life
in the North
of England back then

bogies
    such a strange war-haunted
Battle of Britain word

the skies back then full
of 109s and Heinkels and
Dorniers
      fight for survival, standing
alone against Nazism (and
new old
enemy Germany)
all for
democracy (not Empire) and
all that is good in
mankind and
noble
in the world

my Mother
became strange as she aged,
my father too in that still
clinging to
colonialism pre-
liberation South Africa

others came
      we left

my Mother so aghast
years later
    to hear who it waa exactly now
living in that house

place of her menories
(and who
     know what subtle, pervasive,
inevitable
family warfare)

source of my
purple, magnificent bogie
its maker
and his
machine gun

long time passed, younger
in years when he did than
my age now

THOMAS

THOMAS

I came across a
wandering consciousness
attenuated, stretched thin,

tight as
a bowstring
wanting to sing like
an angel but
with a mouth full
of hourglass sand

and him in the desert
burned dry by drought
and yet
by spiritual fire

a pilgrim, seer to
the core
shaman even
yet dressed so dapper
as if in tiny thrall
to the demand of the pristine

these figures of balance
first the thunder
(and who
can do it better?)
and then
the softness, whispers,
soft rasping like
abrasive snakeskin
rattler
from that
ever expanding continent
where you
were born

which you duly renounced
somewhat on faith, also
perhaps a degree
of calculation

and love
you for it
how could they fail to

and so we met
you
at that moment
though already
the greatest of us all
one I knew
only most
vaguely

finding you here
walking
somewhere, if not
entirely linear
clear
in destination

shadowed by
something ghostly yet
incredibly present

and me
there amazed, so in need
of this inspiration, this
conjunction

only now
at last
able to see what
it all did mean.

NO TIME

NO TIME

When there is, no time
(no “when” to
be exact)
a configuration where
time cannot be
said
   to exist

everything is
lightning
or it is
tableau

the gods dreaming, or
just lounging, even
more so
the goddesses too

and if no time
what happens to process
and the logic of things

the way
       it all once

loved
to unfold.

RWGIME CHANGE

REGIME CHANGE

we are meeting for coffee
fifty years to the day
we last
saw, spoke
to each other

could be real could
be just a dream

reality getting so porous
you could easily just
stick out
your hand
test the fabric

odds and probabilities
suggest five times in nine
you could
stick
your finger
straight through

the veil fading, evaporating
and something no less
ephemeral now
about the realm
of truth

all of which we do not discuss
hard after all those years
to find common
ground, something
worth sharing we
know
will be appreciated

meanwhile flashing in neon
writing on the wall
portents eveywhere
suddenly it
is all
a troubling semiotics
of apocalypse

heads blown off my
bombs, pulverized by
missiles

innocents vaporized
at primary school

signs and codes of
death and
second
coming, dynasties
of temple

perhaps (thinking aloud)
the world needs regime
change
for our very survival we
need every single regime changed

I feel, though you
shrug, the betrayed presence
of a half smile.